Tiger Drops Out
Tiger Woods had to drop out of the Players Championship because of a bulging disk in his neck. It's the second time a bulging part of Tiger's body has threatened his career.



Kagan Tapped
President Obama is expected to nominate Elena Kagan to the Supreme Court today. The move is disappointing feminists, especially since last time there was a vacancy on the court... the president nominated a woman.



Green Graduations
Several universities are holding so-called "green graduations" with recyclable caps and gowns. Arizona State has been the trendsetter for this movement, since its diplomas have been pieces of garbage for 40 years.



Merger Questions
Airline experts say the Continental-United meger poses some serious service questions... like which airline's employees are going to lose your bags and which airline's employees are going to take the lead in not telling you why your plane is delayed?



EU Bailout
The EU has approved a $955 billion deal to bail out all of Europe's banks... but since this is Europe, at least some of that money is expected to be used to buy tight jeans and Capezios.





May 10th


1503: Christopher Columbus visits the Cayman Islands and names them Las Tortugas after the numerous turtles there. Most of those turtles were there to do illicit banking.



1775: Fort Ticonderoga is captured by a small Colonial militia led by Ethan Allen. He immediately puts imprisoned British troops to work building an overpriced furniture store.


1924: J. Edgar Hoover is appointed the Director of the United States' Federal Bureau of Investigation and the Commissioner in Charge of Men in High Heels.