Chance Meeting
A pod of porpoises swam up to the Obama family as they vacationed on the Gulf Coast Saturday. But the splendor of the moment was ruined when it turned out the porpoises were on their way to the unemployment line.



Obama Backtracks
President Obama now says he only supports the "idea" of a Mosque at Ground Zero and does not necessarily think it's exactly a good idea. Kind of like how the voters supported Obama in 2008... and now realize it wasn't exactly a good idea.



Boycott the Times?
Leaders of the Los Angeles teachers union want to boycott the L.A. Times because they say the paper is publishing misleading information about them. The good news is, the way they teach, the union members don't have to worry about their students ever being able to read the paper anyway.




Haden on Kiffin
USC athletic director Pat Haden says he expects head football coach Lane Kiffin to win within the rules... as soon as Kiffin learns what the rules are.



Harvard Dumps Israel
Harvard has divested all its holdings in Israeli companies... which is an uncontroversial move since, y'know, there are no Jews at Harvard.




August 16th


1812: American General William Hull surrenders Fort Detroit without a fight to the British Army. You’d think that Detroit would have gotten the message by that, but it’s still hanging around as an American city.


1962: Pete Best is replaced by Ringo Starr as the drummer for The Beatles. Sadly, if he could have held on just three more years, the rest of the band would have been too stoned to notice he sucked.


1945: An assassination attempt is made on Japan's prime minister, Kantaro Suzuki. He retaliates by making a series of cheap motorcycles.