Halladay No-No
Phillies pitcher Roy Halladay pitched a no-hitter in the playoff opener last night. You know he pitched well because the Phillie fans only booed him 5 or 6 times.



Food Stamp Nation
Nancy Pelosi says food stamps are the best way to stimulate the economy... second only to giving everyone scratch-off lottery tickets.



McDonald's Gets a Pass
The federal government is exempting McDonalds from having to comply with Obamacare. In return, McDonalds is giving Sasha Obama an extra toy with every Happy Meal.



Yoko's Life
As we approach the 30th anniversary of John Lennon's death, Yoko Ono has committed her entire life to embodying his legacy... especially the legacy of being a singer that people want to shoot to death.



Disasters and Kids
A new study shows that the U.S. is unprepared to care for kids in major disaster. Hell, we're not prepared to care for kids if our cable system loses the Disney Channel for 15 minutes.



October 7th


336: Pope Mark dies, leaving the papacy vacant during the crucial postseason and winter meetings.


1958: President of Pakistan Iskander Mirza suspends the 1956 constitution, imposes martial law, and cancels Christmas.


1982: Cats opens on Broadway and never, ever, ever, stops running.