Plastic Bag Ban
L.A. county politicians have banned plastic shopping bags... because it's much easier for them to stash all their stolen taxpayer money in reusable bags.




Madagascar Coup
Military officers in Madagascar claim they have taken over the island nation. This is what happens when parents let their kids play too much Risk.




Ear Infection Study
The good news is that a new study shows that 80% of toddler ear infections just get better on their own. The bad news is the other 20% keep asking for medical marijuana.



Lady Huskies Win!
The UConn women's basketball team has now won 80 games in a row. And in an even more impressive strak, the UConn men's team has had one its players arrested for the 80th week in a row.



Irish Rescue
The European Union is about to give Ireland a $136 billion rescue fund. Ireland should be able to pay it back quickly simply by getting the 5 cents from every bottle of Guiness it recycles.





November 17th


1820: Captain Nathaniel Palmer becomes the first American to see Antarctica, and he understandably mistakes it for downtown Minneapolis.


1947: The U.S. Screen Actors Guild implements an anti-Communist loyalty oath. It has since been replaced by a pro-Communist loyalty oath.


1973: President Richard Nixon tells 400 Associated Press managing editors "I am not a crook"… which none of them noticed because they were all trying cocaine at the hotel bar.