Edwards Gets Worse
Elizabeth Edwards' condition is much worse... mostly because her husband keeps trying to have sex with all of her nurses.



Tax Deal
President Obama has agreed to extending all the Bush tax cuts for another two years... which gives him two years to make a multi-million deal for a tell all book about Rahm Emanuel.



Elder Sex
The good news is 1 in 3 men age 75 to 95 remain sexually active. The bad news is 95% of those men are members of Congress.



Not a Mexican!
It turns out the 14-year-old boy accused of commiting gruesome beheadings for a Mexican drug cartel is an American citizen. As a result, the Mexican government has hired John McCain to guard its northern border



Gov. Arnold Wants Cuts
California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is calling for cuts in state sponsored vision coverage. It turns out too many Californians are straining their eyesight trying to find his approval rating.





December 7th


43 BC: Marcus Tullius Cicero is assassinated… mostly for having the middle name “Tullius.”


1982: In Texas, Charles Brooks, Jr. becomes the first person to be executed by lethal injection in the United States. Ever since then, Texas has been the least popular state to get a flu shot.


1995: The Galileo spacecraft arrives at Jupiter, six years after it was launched… making it the fastest worker to arrive on the job in the entire federal government.