Gitmo Thugs to Illinois
An Illinois prison is set to get some of the Guantanamo detainees. Citizens are outraged since it's one thing to put these terrorists on American soil, but to let them live together with most of Illinois former governors and legislators is downright crazy.



Obama at HD
President Obama is set to appear at a Home Depot in suburban Washington, D.C. later today. He is the president, so he has a 50/50 shot of actually finding someone who works there to help him.



Kelly Drops Out
Robert Kelly has decided not to take the CEO job at Bank of America. Kelly didn't like the salary offer, the spectre of government intereference, and the fact that even as CEO, Bank of America still wouldn't clear his personal checks until 5 business days.



Dreamliner Flight
After months of delays, the Boeing 787 Dreamliner is scheduled to take its first flight today... which means the people taking the first flight are just six months away from getting their bags.



School Danger
The EPA has found high levels of a dangerous toxin at a school in eastern Ohio. That toxin is also known as "cafeteria tater tots."






December 15th


533: Byzantine general Belisarius defeats the Vandals... thanks to a new line of graffiti-resistant armor.


1891: James Naismith introduces the first version of basketball, with a peach basket, two teams of nine players, and a paternity suit lawyer for each side.


1973: John Paul Getty III, grandson of American billionaire J. Paul Getty, is found alive near Naples, Italy, after being kidnapped by an Italian gang on July 10, 1973. He was a bit shaken, but since it was an Italian gang, he had gained 15 pounds since being kidnapped.