Canadian Health Care
The premier of Newfoundland, Canada is coming to the United States for heart surgery. He's expected to have a full recovery, that is if President Obama and the Democrats don't kill him first.



Smoked Out
California is shutting down several medical marijuana outlets across the state. Shares of Taco Bell and 7-11 are crashing on the news.



Prius Problems
Toyota now admits it has brake design problems with its Prius line too. Of course, the biggest problem is that every model comes with a idiotic environmentalist behind the wheel.



Dem Jobs Plan
The Democrats roll out their $80 billion jobs bill today. It's expected to be only 10% as bad and ineffective as the $800 billion stimulus bill they passed last year.




Teacher Training Cash
President Obama has just announced a $250 million training program for teachers. That's $50 million for math and science training, and $200 million to get lawyers for teachers who sleep with their underage students.






February 4th


211: Roman Emperor Septimius Severus dies, causing great relief for all imperial citizens with a speech impediment.


1789: George Washington is unanimously elected as the first President of the United States. All the other candidates were forced to withdraw because they had knocked up their campaign workers.


1794: The French legislature abolishes slavery. Most slaves in other countries still decide it's better to live as a slave than to be free in France.