Saints Win!!
The New Orleans Saints defeated the Indianapolis Colts, 31-17, to win the Super Bowl Sunday night. The win provided the people of the city of New Orleans their first excuse to get drunk since Saturday night.



Kiffin Shocker
USC Head Coach Lane Kiffin has caused a huge controversy by giving a football scholarship to a 7th grader. But since this is USC, the kid has been eligible for an academic scholarship since he was in 5th grade.




Not Backing Down
Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy are standing behind a disgraces British doctor who claims vaccines cause autism. He's actually the also the only doctor who claims McCarthy's breasts are real.



Tokyo Discovery
A body was found inside a wheel well of a Delta Air Lines plane after it landed in Tokyo from New York. Japanese authorities are using this incident to remind everyone that flying in a 747's wheel well is very dangerous, but not as dangerous as driving a 2007 Corolla.



Green Backlash
A group of Californians want the state to suspend its tough environmental laws until the state unemployment rate falls to 5.5%... so the green rules should be reintroduced in about 750 years.





February 8th


1622: King James I of England disbands the English Parliament and signs a bunch of lower-cost replacement players.


1692: A doctor in Salem Village, Massachusetts Bay Colony suggests that two girls may be suffering from bewitchment, leading to the Salem witch trials... and allowing him to get back to his golf game.


1910: The Boy Scouts of America is founded. The molestations begin 15 minutes later.