Bloomberg vs. UN
New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg is complaining that a series of renovations to the UN building are ignoring terror threats. Bloomberg says the only way to make the building safer is to build several mosques around it.



California Screamin'
Despite statewide insolvency, 16 city managers in California make more than $300,000 per year. That's almost as much as the football equipment manager at USC.



Vick to Start?
This Sunday, Michael Vick is expected to get his first start since 2006... which means the other team's defensive lineman will have try to sack him if the animal rights activists storming the field don't get to him first.



Uninsured in America
50 million Americans now have no health insurance... which is really dangerous because they're all catching each others colds while standing so close to each other on the unemployment line.



Stimulus for Colleges
California's state colleges and universities are getting $200 million in federal stimulus money... so USC can buy more houses for its football recruits.







September 17th


1631: Sweden defeats the Holy Roman Empire in the Battle of Breitenfeld, winning the right for all Swedish people to legally commit suicide.


1787: The United States Constitution is signed in Philadelphia. Congress immediately starts ignoring every single part of it.


1924: The Border Defence Corps is established in Poland to defend the eastern border against Soviet raids, local bandits, and encyclopedia salesmen.