DC Welfare Reform?
Two DC city council members from POOR districts are proposing a 5-year limit on welfare payments before recipients have to go out and get a real job. Experts say that's unfair since U.S. Senators get to do nothing for at least six years before they have to work.



Loehmann's in Trouble
Discount women's clothing retailer Loehmann's is filing for bankruptcy. Now, women looking to punch each other in the dressing room will just have to join the cast of "The View."



Progessive Snobbery
Whole Foods is rolling out a new "animal welfare" rating system at its stores so you feel good about how humanely an animal was treated... before you go home and eat it.



Porn Case
A dozen pornography studios have hired a Chicago attorney to stop people from illegally pirating their videos. Wait, there's porn that isn't illegally pirated?



Royal Engagement
It's official! Prince William and Kate Middleton are engaged after eight years together. William finally popped the question in hopes that he'll still have some hair in his wedding pictures.






November 16th


1776: In the American Revolutionary War, Hessian mercenaries capture Fort Washington from the Patriots… a real shocker, since the Patriots were favored by two and half touchdowns.


1885: Canadian rebel leader and "Father of Manitoba", Louis Riel, is executed for treason… and distracting people from hockey season.


1945: Operation Paperclip: The United States Army secretly admits 88 German scientists to help in the development of rocket technology… and help us finish the Sunday New York Times crossword.