Time Person of the Year
Time Magazine has named Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke as its Person of the Year. It's either a bold statement about his handling of the economy, or the magazine's pathetic attempt to get a bailout.



Spend, Spend, Spend
While the Senate struggles with the health care bill the House is expected to debate and vote on a short-term spending bill for the Pentagon, the permanent spending bill for the Pentagon, a jobs package, and the "pave the streets with gold during a recession proposition."



Climate Change Prostitution
Activists at the Copenhagen Climate Conference are now blaming global warming for a rise in international prostitution. Gee, I thought having sex was something you did to GET warm.




Christmas Art Scandal
An 8-year-old Massachusetts boy was sent home from school and ordered to undergo a psychological evaluation after he drew a stick figure of Jesus on the cross. Meanwhile, his classmate who drew a picture of Satan has been given a leadership role in the teachers union.




Male Prostitution
A Nevada brother owner is looking to hire male prostitutes. But having men work as whores would challenge the 220-year monopoly on that profession held by the U.S. Congress.






December 16th


1431: Henry VI of England is crowned King of France at Notre Dame in Paris. Westminster Abbey wasn't available due to the Freidbaum Bar Mitzvah.


1773: The Boston Tea Party. Americans disguised as Indians dump crates of tea into Boston harbor as a protest against the Tea Act. The British news media writes the protesters off as a bunch of white racists.


1971: Bangladesh War of Independence comes to an abrubt end as most of the Pakistani army is called back to cab stands all across Manhattan.