KC Schools Shut
Kansas City has just decided to close about half of its public schools. This is what happens when 9-year-olds get elected to the city council.



Textbook Battle
There may be a deal in the textbook battle in Texas. Liberals say they're willing to accept conservative demands for more content about Abraham Lincoln, Ronald Reagan and Dwight Eisenhower... as long as the new books say all those guys may have been gay.



Census Trouble
The Census is having trouble finding job applicants who can speak Spanish. This is amazing, because every other business in America can't find job applicants who can speak English!



Slim is Fat
The richest man in the world is now Mexican telecom magnate Carlos Slim. The second richest man in the world is the guy who protects him from local drug lords and roaming mariachi bands.




Climate Gate Defense?
The American scientist at the center of the "Climategate" scandal says he's ready to launch a vigorous defense of his global warming theories... just as soon as he finishes shoveling the snow and ice off his driveway.





March 11th


1824: The U.S. creates the Bureau of Indian Affairs. Today, the Bureau's biggest decision is whether to hit on 16.


1888: The Great Blizzard of 1888 begins, shutting down commerce and killing more than 400... and if we all just start using solar power and get rid of coal, we could relive all that fun once again.


1999: Infosys becomes the first Indian company listed on the NASDAQ stock exchange. Now, there is only non-Indian company listed on the NASDAQ stock exchange.